A fun new aspect to having a book coming out in three weeks: anxiety wake-ups! 4:30am, 5:00am, away my mind goes, whirring with all the things I have to do to launch this book. Also all the things I’m not doing, all the things it’s too late to do, all the things I’m doing wrong, the things I fear are expected of me but have not been communicated to me, the ways I’ve already messed up by not planning x or building y or doing z sooner. Or, for that matter, by not being a whole different person in the first place. You know, the kind who can breeze into an event in an incredible outfit she knew how to put together effortlessly, own the room—which is packed because everyone in the entire world wants to see her, and also she has 800 close friends—and sell books on personality.
Though if I were that person I might not be the person capable of writing this particular book. But my just-awakened brain is not on the lookout for positives.
Therein, however, lies part of the source of this anxiety: the skills and aptitudes required to write a book are not necessarily the ones required to go out into the world and represent the book.
After another of these wake-ups one morning last week, I realized I needed to write out a list of what success means to me as I launch this book. A benchmark that is not about numbers, lists, likes, metrics, how many people attend an event, how many books sell, or any of the other measurable markers of “you made it” that are prime territory for overwhelm, comparison, failure to live up to expectation, and a never-satisfied demand for MORE.
If I got to create my own definition of success, what would it be?
Well there’s a thought.
Maybe, first, success is protecting my creative sanctuary, staying grounded and connected to my inner creator self and the essential core of who I am while choosing to step inside the publicity machine and the marketplace.
Or, for days when that feels like too tall an order, how about:
Success is remembering that I am not the publicity machine and the marketplace. (I’m not even my book, how about that!) That I’ve chosen to participate in it and I get to do so on my terms.
So maybe:
Success is showing up on my terms—not hiding, not playing small, but choosing to engage with authenticity, to be the gateway (credit to
for this phrase) between The Mother Act and its potential readers. So that the book can have impact and resonance. So that the people who will love this book can find it.Success is one authentic connection with a person who read the book and got something out of it. Maybe they tell me this, maybe we have an amazing conversation, or maybe I never know about it.
Success is connection.
By these measures of success, I’m already there.
Because I’m already receiving private messages from booksellers and advance readers telling me the book moved them, using words like “It left me floored. In the best way possible.” And “This is the single best book on motherhood I have ever read. Thank you.”
I’m already having those authentic, connected conversations. My first podcast interview is live now, and it was the most generous, thoughtful, nuanced discussion a debut novelist of a complex novel could hope to engage in. Liz Carlile of Motherhood Unstressed read this book deeply and she got it. You can listen to our conversation right here (also wherever you get your podcasts—search for Motherhood Unstressed.)
And despite some angsting over logistics, we have some pretty fun events in the works, a beautiful mix of gatherings that really do feel like they’re bringing humans together in a meaningful way.
So there we go. Success on my terms. Which doesn’t mean I’m not also interested in success on those other terms (bestseller lists, etc.)—I totally am! I suppose the key is learning to/trying to embrace a duality in which you’re still showing up to the tasks that can help your book reach an audience, doing your best to be its ambassador, and also not losing sight of what it’s really about.
If you live in Eastern Ontario, New England, Toronto, or New York City, one of my fun/meaningful events and I are coming to you!
I’ll send more event details in a separate email, but for now I wanted to invite you to two of them:
Monday, May 6, The Assembly Theatre, Toronto: The Mother Act: A Theatrical Book Launch
In this celebratory fusion of theatre and book launch, we are bringing the pages of the book to life onstage! Hosted by my bestie Anena Hansen and featuring a performance by actor Carmen Grant as Sadie Jones and my daughter Aphra as Judith Jones-Linnen, plus me in the role of The Author.
Wednesday, May 15, P&T Knitwear, New York City: Heidi Reimer in Conversation with Fiona Davis
The Mother Act is set in New York City, the location of my early immersion in the life of an actor, and I’m so thrilled to be bringing the book here and honoured that Fiona Davis agreed to be my conversation partner.
More news to come!
Yours from three weeks pre-pub,
Heidi
P.S. If you’ve preordered The Mother Act, be sure to let me know on this form and I will send you:
A free ticket to a spoiler-rich book club chat with me and Governor General’s Award-winning novelist Sarah Henstra (author of The Red Word, We Contain Multitudes, and the forthcoming The Lost Tarot)
A free ebook, A Real Woman, my creative nonfiction essay that reveals the source of TMA character Sadie’s fierce feminism
Strolling Player, a film based on the critically-acclaimed solo show my husband Richard Sheridan Willis and I co-created for the stage, a spellbinding account of a life devoted to theatre
Heidi - you are a gem ♥️
Thanks for the kind mention Heidi!